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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Learning to Learn from My Mother

 Life as an adult daughter staying at home can be wonderful in many, many ways. At the same time, it has it's difficulties. As I am now "all grown up," I have my own ideas and opinions of what a house (or at least the house I am living in) should look like, what it should consist of, and how it should operate.
My mom and I have a lot of similarities, but when it comes to household routine, we can be very different. Concerning her domestic duties, mom is easy going, craftsy, and an out-side-of-the-box-kind-of-thinker. Her kind of house is clean and cozy. On the other hand, I am nit-picky, routine-obsessed, and a picture-perfect-kind-of-thinker. Everything must be in it's place (everything from the camping tent to the kitchen can opener). Anyone living in the same house with me will tell you I am crazy about organization. My kind of house is structured and tidy.

Now, I can not begin to tell you how much I love and appreciate my mom or how much I admire the beautiful example she is to me as a wife and mother. She is an amazing mom who deserves all the credit I'm giving her. I recognize that God has purposely made each of us different for very specific and wonderful reasons. Also, the major differences in the personalites that the Lord has given to my mom and I have actually been of benefit to both of us. For as you probably know and have experienced, similar personalities clash more so than dissimilar ones. So believe it or not, our contrasting characteristics have actually lead to a deep, compatible, mother-daughter relationship.

Nonetheless, the personality difference can be a challenge. I think a huge part of our dissimilarity is that mom usually speaks her mind (which isn't always a bad thing, by the way), while I hardly ever speak my mind. So here is a typical conversation between us that goes on practically every day. "Did you feed the dog?" mom will ask (usually followed by "Did you feed Tiger? Did you feed Gracie? Did you feed Follow?"{our cats}). I say yes or no and then think (to myself of course), "Why can't we have a system...we must have a system (or I'll go crazy)!"

 I think just about every daughter out there, who's greatest desire is to be a wife and mother, has probably dreamed and re-dreamed of what her house and family will look like someday. I know I certainly have. Often times, when I picture myself being a mom, living out life with her husband and children, I tend to get anxious (maybe a little too anxious). I start to think of how I would do things differently. For instance, the dog (if we have one) will NOT be aloud on the furniture (ha! ha!...my family knows this already). I would plan (or at least want to plan) every single meal. I would have an official laundry day. The list could go on I'm sure. But you get the picture. Anyway, my mind starts running like this and then suddenly I want to take control. I want to do everything a mother would do. Once again, I must say that my mom is very allowing in this area (remember, I said she was easy going). She's given me lots of leeway to discover and learn how things are done and how things work. She's let me "take over" grocery shopping more than once, whenever I was helping with couponing. She's let me plan the bathroom "makeover" the way that I wanted it. I'm telling you, if there's a mom out there that allows and encourages her daughters to experiment and get their "hands on" housewife life, it's my mom. 

 I often have to remind myself that part of the reason Katlynn and I decided to stay at home is so that we could learn and prepare ourselves for serving our future families. Part of that learning is daily watching our mom and being willing and humble enough to be taught by her. I so often forget that I have had zero experience with being an actual housewife, whereas mom has had 20+ years of it! How little I forget just how much I can be learning from her and gaining wisdom that will stay with me for a life time. Living ordinary life in an ordinary home as a grown daughter can be so beneficial in that you are watching your future "dream" in action. That special dream will hopefully one day come true, but it will most likely look quite different from the way we saw it. Ordinary family life is just that...it's ordinary, it's mundane, and most of all, it's real. And the blessing of staying at home while you're not married yet is that you see the realness of it. You'll know not to expect a perfect house where everything is in it's place. You'll know not to expect perfectly behaved children dressed in their perfectly matching outfits. You'll know not to expect a perfect day where everything on the list gets done. But most importantly, you'll know that God's grace will carry you through. 

 So here is my encouragement to all daughters at home, anxiously awaiting their "turn to be the mom." There is a season for all things and everything is beautiful in it's time. Daughterhood is a beautiful thing and we should not be so hasty to move on to the greener grass on the other side. In the end, life is fleeting. This time of singleness will likely be gone before you know it, and then you'll look back on all those wonderful memories and wonder why you wanted it to be over so fast.
 So be patient and most importantly, learn from your mom...you will never regret it! 


  1. This is an excellent post! It's so important to intentionally seek to learn from those who are wiser than us (i.e moms) (:
    Visiting from http://www.andieconn.com/kindness-challenge-week-two-give-someone-book-impacted/ and would love a visit back

  2. This post really spoke to my heart. My mother and I are the same way. It can be really hard at times, but I am so thankful for her godly example. Thanks for the encouragement.

    1. So very glad we (daughters at home) can encourage each other in this way. Glad you enjoyed the post, Kali!