Do you ever stop and think just how changeable we are? It drives me crazy sometimes when I think of just how fickle I really am. I've already shared one aspect of that, in my sort-of, off and on frugality. But it certainly doesn't end there. For one thing, I love hearing and playing music. And sometimes I'll be completely and wonderfully caught up in it. But then it fades. The excitement dulls and I move on to something else, like, oh I don't know...sewing for instance. Then before too long I get tired of that and do something else. Really a vicious cycle, is it not?
More than anything though, I hate that my thoughts and feelings towards God are never the same. Not to say that they don't improve. But I wish that once they have, that they'd stay that way. Okay, let me explain cause that was probably a bit confusing. Let me first start with this. I want to know my Savior. Not just to know a few aspects of His character, but to truly know Him. I love that the words of the Psalmist often express what I'm feeling so well. "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God," (Psalm 42:1 ESV).
It is pure joy in those moments when I see Christ in a new way. Oh, how I relish those tiny glimpses of His majesty. But it is so easy to forget, to forget just how awesome His salvation really is, how abundant His mercy is towards me, everything. At times, I'm completely and wonderfully caught up in Christ. Then other times I become indifferent. I'm always changing and never consistent.
Now, that was all rather depressing and I'm starting to get myself to that point, so I'd better break out the good news now. To begin with, I need to be thankful for those moments He does give me and the continual knowledge of Himself that He does give. But more than that, I am thankful that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever," (Heb. 13:8 ESV). And you know what that means? It means that when I don't love Him enough, He still loves me with infinite love. It means that even if I can't see all of Him quite yet, He still is the great I AM. Just because I may not be aware of it from moment to moment, He still is who He will always be. He simply cannot change. And in a world with changing people and changing lives, and changing everything...that's good news!
Of course, I can't fail to mention one last point. God has given me hope beyond this world and beyond this sinful flesh that I still painfully live in. For those rare but wonderful moments will one day be eternity. Those glimpses will be a never-ending, uninterrupted, infinitely blissful gaze. For "when he appears...we shall see him as he is," (1 John 3: 2).
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